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Hello and welcome to WTF Wednesday, where I tell you about something to which the only viable response is “What the fuck?!”

Today’s topic is the kind of scientific breakthrough you’d expect to see in an episode of The Flintstones. That is if The Flintstones was outspokenly homophobic.

You see some people can’t seem to accept that not only is there nothing wrong with homosexuality, but that other people being gay is in fact none of their bloody business. Instead these people seek reasons and excuses to rob them of their basic rights to equality, usually through the medium of organised religion. However every now and then someone special comes along. Someone who truly excels in what I would have to define as fuckwittery. Someone like Chibuihem Amalaha.

Chibuihem Amalaha is a student at the University of Lagos who believes he has proven that Gay Marriage is wrong, using magnets. I’ve read a couple of articles about his experiment and I think I’ve managed to get my head around it. Bear in mind I’m not a physicist, but I’ll do my best to explain it to you now.

As you may know your average bar magnets have two poles; a north and a south. Now anyone who has tried to put two magnets together will have found that two north poles do not attract one another, nor two south poles. Instead, in order for the two magnets to attract and connect, the north pole of one must be matched with the south of the other.

Here’s a handy visual to help drive it home:

Ain’t no such thing as a gay magnet…

Therefore gay marriage is wrong.

That’s it. No seriously. ‘Like cannot attract like’. That’s the proof. Unless you read the logic behind his Mathematical, Biological and Chemical ‘proofs’, which in my opinion make the above argument sound positively inspired.

Now I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m confident that the nobel prize will be on its way any day now. You just hang on in there Chibuihem. Some day your contribution to science will be recognised and revered alongside other great truths in our history. People will read about it. Perhaps after the chapter on the Earth being flat. Perhaps before…

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